tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13511890651644995882024-03-12T17:18:24.394-07:00Lively Stepping StonesThe Official Blog of Author and Therapist Linda A. Haywood.Author Linda Haywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01476801231566569873noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351189065164499588.post-72157577189205979122015-01-19T09:04:00.000-08:002016-02-17T06:09:59.990-08:00Walk A Mile in My Shoes<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><i>“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the
Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our
affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” </i>(2 Cor. 1:3-4,
KJV).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Empathy, the ability to walk in another person’s shoes, is usually
preceded by compassion. Empathy allows you the ability to really imagine how another
in that situation must be feeling; even if you haven’t experienced the exact
same events as the person who is suffering.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Many have never experienced the challenges of living with a
mental illness. However the Biblical account of Jesus’ encounter with the
Gadarene demoniac in the Book of Mark, Chapter 5, gives a very good glimpse of
the life experiences still experienced even today by those who are experiencing
untreated or undertreated mental illness:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">(1). Mark 5:3- <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Who
had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with
chains” (KJV).</i></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Estrangement from Family and Community</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">There are those who never had a good support system to
assist them during the times when their mental illnesses are so pronounced.
Others lost their primary supports due to death or, usually, parents or
grandparents, became too medically fragile to care for them. There are many
with mental illnesses however, who due to their illnesses and/or behaviors,
simply taxed their loved ones so heavily over a period of time that they found
themselves severed from family, friends and other meaningful supports.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Imagine how different your life would be if you lost all
contact with those you loved such as parents, siblings, spouses and even your
own children due to a medical condition that distorted your mood, your thoughts
and your feelings. Imagine the emotional disconnect that you would feel if your
loved ones didn’t recognize your need for treatment but were harsh, critical
and told you that you were not welcomed around them because you are just “weak”
and “need to suck it up.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Can you imagine living in a community in which your illness
skews your reality so far apart from the realities of everyone else around you causing
you to be publicly ridiculed or the butt of cruel jokes? Worst yet, because of
your illness, you are the target of violence. Imagine how confusing it would be
to find yourself being assaulted and robbed by those who, only the day before
your check day, had been your “friends.” Maybe you are a female who is sexually
assaulted within the community or by staff in hospitals, group homes, etc., but
no one believes you because of your mental status.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">(2). Mark 5:4- <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Because
that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been
plucked in pieces: neither could any man tame him” (KJV).</i></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Repeated Failed Interventions</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">There are many experiencing mental illness who don’t receive
the help they need to effectively manage their symptoms due to lack of
insurance, limited insurance, the stigma of mental illness and family members
who utilize inappropriate interventions. There are many others who have sought
help only to be labeled as “non-compliant” when they have resisted involuntary
hospitalizations or medications that caused severe side effects or affected
them in a physical manner.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Even if your thinking is distorted, how trusting would you
remain if someone took you somewhere under the guise of getting you out of the
cold only to have several strong men grab you, put you in restraints and strap
you to a bed for hours or isolate you in a small room after giving you some
type of injection with little or no explanation? Chances are these experiences
probably would not have to occur too many times before the average individual
would become combative and resistant about being restrained.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">(3). Mark 5:5- <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“And
always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and
cutting himself with stones” (KJV).</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">It probably goes without saying that individuals
experiencing severe depression, delusions, auditory and visual hallucinations
and other symptoms of mental illness often experience extreme psychological and
emotional distress. Imagine being unable to rely on your own mind, thoughts and
feelings to relay accurate information regarding your environment and those
around you. That can be very terrifying as well as frustrating. Yet, contrary
to popular misconceptions, most of those who are mentally ill are more likely
to harm themselves than to harm others. According to the National Alliance on
Mental Illness (NAMI), approximately 30,000 deaths occur annually in the United States
due to suicide and close to 1 million Americans receive treatment for suicidal
thoughts, behaviors or attempts on a yearly basis.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">While 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. are diagnosed with a mental
illness, many of us will never experience these exact experiences. Nevertheless,
because we each share the human experience with our own challenges to overcome,
we are all very aware of the importance of giving and receiving the comfort and
compassion of others.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Can it be a long process when dealing with someone who is
mentally ill? Yes. Is it possible that you will become frustrated when you see
little or no progress while working with someone experiencing a mental illness?
Again, yes. However, before you throw in the towel or come to the conclusion
that these individuals are unworthy or beyond your compassion, take a moment,
exhale, regroup and take a moment to imagine what it is like and also what it
really means to walk a mile in that individual’s shoes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">© 2015 Linda Haywood. All rights reserved worldwide.</span></div>
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Author Linda Haywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01476801231566569873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351189065164499588.post-44964670216522940312015-01-05T05:00:00.000-08:002015-01-05T05:00:00.550-08:00Bring 'Em Back<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">“When Jesus therefore
saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in
the spirit, and was troubled, And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto
him, Lord, come and see. Jesus wept” </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">(John 11:33-35, KJV).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">Imagine this Biblical scene. Jesus had delayed His coming during Lazarus’
illness and when He arrived in Bethany.
Jesus was met by an angry and grieving Martha who basically told Him that He
was too late; and if He had been there rather than delaying in His arrival her
brother, Lazarus, would not have died. Lazarus had been dead for four days, one
day too late for revival by conventional Jewish thought but not too late for God’s
resurrection power. Amazingly, even though Jesus knew what He was about to do,
He was still moved by the grief of those around Him and wept with compassion at
the tomb of Lazarus.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">Compassion, a key part of spirituality, is the emotion that one feels in
response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help. Therefore,
we can say that compassion is usually followed by an action. Acting on our
feelings of compassion however, may be challenging when we feel inadequate,
fearful or when we lack a true understanding of the experiences of those
seeking our assistance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For many,
including Christians, never are these feelings of inadequacy and fearfulness
more pronounced then when dealing with those who are mentally ill. And,
unfortunately, stigma and misinformation has only added to our lack of
understanding and inability to show the compassion of Christ.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">For instance, what type of individual comes to your mind when you hear of
mental illness? Do you immediately envision someone laughing and talking to
him/herself? Do you think of someone who is a violent “ticking time bomb” and a
potential threat to everyone else around him or her? Or do you envision someone
who is a parent, a brother or sister, an esteemed member of the community or
even you? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">Historically, fear, stigma and a lack of understanding has kept those
experiencing mental illness hidden and basically dead to society as a whole.
Needlessly, thousands suffer alone in silence each year afraid of the impact
that may accompany their disclosure. Those experiencing mental illness, as well
as mental health advocates who support the mentally ill, are dismayed over and
over again as the only time that the issue of mental illness and mental health
reform is put on display and scrutiny is when one or two out of the masses of
those labelled with a mental illness commits some heinous act that the media
broadcasts over and over again. This only reinforces the perception that most
of those who are mentally ill are also dangerous.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">Today, however, there is good news. Contrary to all of the misinformation
circulating about, the compassion of Christ is still able to restore, even now.
Our compassionate responses can take what appears to be a dead situation and
pull those seeking assistance out of their tombs of depression, hopelessness
and despair. We can reconnect our brothers and sisters, even though they have
been severed, due to their illnesses. They can be brought back to life despite having
been interrupted by untreated or undertreated mental illness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">© 2015 Linda A. Haywood. All rights reserved worldwide.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
Author Linda Haywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01476801231566569873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351189065164499588.post-26137686425349612932014-12-23T08:07:00.001-08:002014-12-23T08:07:03.613-08:00Broken for the Holidays<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="OLE_LINK2"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="OLE_LINK1"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"><span class="st1"><span lang="EN" style="color: windowtext; mso-ansi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">“The
LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a
contrite spirit” (Psalm 34:18, KJV).</span></span></span></a></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Christmas is typically seen as a time of celebrations, family and
holiday cheer. As a child, I absolutely loved everything about Christmas: family,
fun, toys, gifts, games and all of the food and desserts that my heart desired
around that time of year. All of that changed for me, however, the year that I
turned twenty years old.</span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">That year and for many years afterwards, I, like many other people
who currently live with a mental illness, dreaded the Christmas season which
only seemed to magnify my feelings of loneliness--no matter who was present. I
was lost even in familiar places and distressed even when everyone else felt
that I should be happy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">For ten full years, without rhyme or reason, this sense of dread
would begin to envelope me in the month of November and not let up until about
April. My unmet expectation that there was a wonder drug out there that would
somehow “make me happy” only added to my frustration, anger and sense of
brokenness.</span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Thankfully, God broke that cycle in my life long ago and even today
there are those who tell me that if I never told anyone, no one would ever
associate me with someone who is mentally ill. I understand what they are
saying but, that’s one of many issues for me. Few desire to be associated with
mental illness, therefore there are many misconceptions regarding mental
illness and those diagnosed with a mental illness.</span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Without a single doubt, I can tell you that I never once woke up
choosing to be mentally ill. I never, not even once, chose to go through 10
years of mental turmoil before God's deliverance but, because of my experience,
I do choose to let others know that mental illness doesn't discriminate. It can
strike anyone at any time. I choose to remember the incredible despair, shame
and mental pain that I felt all of those years. It makes me a better advocate
for those who have lost their voices due to mental illness. And I choose never to
forget those who are still struggling.</span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">As Christmas approaches, it is important to recognize that there are
many who are not feeling a lot of “holiday cheer” due to their illness,
estrangement from family and friends and life circumstances that are constantly
changing. If you or someone you love, are finding the Christmas season
challenging, here are some Do’s and Don’ts to remember which may protect your
mental health or the mental health of someone you love during this time.</span></span></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><span dir="LTR">Don’t be afraid to ask for support
during this time.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"><span dir="LTR">Do make time for family and
friends. Isolation may not be the best option at this time.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"><span dir="LTR">Don’t over-extend yourself. Know
your limitations and seek balance as much as possible</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"><span dir="LTR">Do know that you are not alone.</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"> © 2015 Linda A. Haywood. All rights reserved worldwide.</span></span></div>
Author Linda Haywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01476801231566569873noreply@blogger.com2